


I'd Choose You

by DeadlyKittenKay (PrettyBlueIz)



Series: Facebook Prompts [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on a facebook post, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBlueIz/pseuds/DeadlyKittenKay
Summary: After a year long separation, Dean and Cas finally have the heart to heart they should have had long ago.





	I'd Choose You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Knowmefirst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knowmefirst/gifts).



> Blame knowmefirst for this
> 
> Also I literally just finished it on my phone so I'm sorry for any autocorrect fails that I missed

Castiel sat at the bistro table outside the familiar cafe. The winter chill finally giving way to the moderate warmth spring time brings to the area. Any other given day, he would sip his tea and listen to the birds chirp happily about their day. Especially since there appeared to be a Robin's nest with newly hatched babies. But he can't find himself to focus on the beauty of nature.

Instead Castiel is nervous. He sits at the cafe, stirring his oversized tea, debating if this was a good idea or not. After all, he was the one that left those many nights ago. He wouldn't be surprised if he got stood up. He deserved it.

Not that this was a date. No. If Castiel wanted to impress his ex, he would have taken him to the local burgers and brew fest, and encourage the six foot two man to consume his weight in burgers and beer or until his heart content.

But this was not a date.

This was a chance to get some closure. A chance to explain why he left and hopefully, with time, gain back his best friend. And maybe then, his heart will be willing to try to love again.

 _Doubtful_. Once you've fallen in love with Dean Winchester, it's difficult to love another. Especially when that love made you a better person, even on your worst days.

Castiel sighs and straightens the plate of cucumber sandwiches. Maybe he should had asked Dean to meet him at the diner instead.

Dean would probably be more inclined to meet there than some cafe in a neighbouring city. This place was to upper class for Dean. What was Castiel thinking? He knew how much Dean despised Castiel's family for the way they would rub their wealth in his face. As if he was beneath them. He was bound to feel that Castiel was no better by selecting this place.

Castiel was brought out of his thoughts when he heard his name called. He looks up to see Dean. His breath catches in his throat and his heart stops beating. Was Dean always so attractive? When in something as simple as dark wash jeans, a black t-shirt and black leather jacket, he looks like a runway model.

Castiel stood up, hoping his nerves didn’t show through in his smile. He was genuinely happy to see Dean and if the smile on Dean's face was indication – despite everything – the feeling was Mutual.

Castiel offered his hand to his former lover. “Hello, Dean,” he greeted and was surprised when the man pulled him into a firm one handed hug. A hug that was reserved for friends. Castiel tried not to dwell on that fact and just enjoyed the moment he was having.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean responded pulling away. He looked at the table and smirked at Castiel.

“Started without me I see.”

“Oh no,” Castiel gestured to the table. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be hungry. And I’ve just ordered the tea.” _About twenty minutes ago_.

Dean nodded and took a seat. “Cucumber sandwiches?” Castiel nodded and took his own seat. “You know, Sam still gives me crap about the cucumber water.”

Castiel smiled at that. “It is quite refreshing.”

Dean nodded and looked around. The nerves were kicking again and Castiel tried to hide his shaky hands in his lap.

“So… How you’ve been, Cas? Finally took up the family’s offer?”

Castiel shook his head and wondered if that’s the reason Dean had thought he left. “No, I still work at the small clinic. The pay is shit, but the work is satisfying.”

“Oh. Good.”

“How did the meeting with the bank go? Did you get the loan?” Castiel asked, knowing that Dean had an investment meeting to get the funds needed to extend his Uncle Bobby’s garage and add a customization and restoration center.

Dean cleared his throat and looked down at the black wrought iron table. “I didn’t go.”

“What? Why not? Dean that was your dream!”

Dean looked up at him and opened his mouth to answer only to be cut off by the waitress.

Castiel could see the hurt and fury in Dean’s moss green eyes and he felt guilt. He knew that he was the reason and here he was making Dean rehash the past.

When the waitress had taken Dean’s order, he spoke again. “I didn’t go because I wasn’t in the right mindset to convince someone to invest thousands of dollars on me. Bobby and Sam went instead.”

“I'm so sorry, Dean.” He felt horrible for leaning Dean just before his big meeting, knowing how much it meant to him.

Dean shrugged and thanked the waitress when his coffee came out. “Don't worry about it, Cas. It was in the past.” He lets out a heavy sigh and looks at Castiel expectantly. “You said you wanted to talk?”

“I did. I felt that I owed you an apology and an explanation.”

“Just tell me one thing, Cas.”

“Yes of course. Anything.”

“Did you leave because of your family?”

Castiel's eyebrows knitted together in momentary confusion before the question dawned on him. “No, Dean. I told you once before that I would gladly live a penniless pauper with you, than to be their mindless puppet.”

“Okay, I just wasn't good enough to stay with… awesome.” Castiel could tell by the tone, Dean hadn't intended for him to hear that. The pain in his voice matched the betrayal in his face. Clearly the past year was just as hard on Dean as it had been Castiel.

“That's not why I left, Dean. I left because we were always fighting. I couldn't take sleeping alone when I knew you were just in the other room passed out drunk on the couch. I couldn't take coming home wondering if I was going to do something or say something that would set you off. Honestly, Dean, it felt as if you didn’t want me anymore. I couldn't stand watching the man I love pull away from me.”

Castiel tore his gaze from Dean, unable to watch the emotions that cycled through the man's beautiful features.

“Don't you get it, Cas? I pulled away because that's what _you_ wanted. I would have given you anything you asked of me. After three years I would have thought you had that figured out. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that you were just okay with playing house, just not actually doing it.”

“You said you wanted to take the next step and I said I would think about it.”

“What was there to think about? We already had the house. The damned dog.”

“I'm just not ready for kids, Dean!” There. It was said. The crux of all of their problems. Castiel knew a part of Dean had realized this without having to hear it. After all, why else would he have pulled away like he did?

Dean slouched back in his seat and looked at Castiel with red rimmed eyes. “And there's the truth in why you left, isn't it? Because I want to start a family and you don't.”

“You didn't seem keen on waiting. I mean, would you really have waited for me to be ready? Could you honestly sit there and tell me that you'd pick me over kids?”

“Absolutely,” Dean said without hesitation. “I want kids, yes. But I want them _with_ you. I want a family _with_ you. Even after the shitty year you've put us through, I still want that all. With you.”

At this point Castiel was openly crying at the table. He had hoped looking down at the table would help hide this fact. He watched Dean’s hand slowly reach across the table and gently remove his own from the over sized mug, to hold.

“Cas, I promised you that night I held you in my arms as you mourned the loss of your family that we would make our own remember?” Castiel nods as Dean continued. “What did I say? Bobby and Ellen already see you as a son. Sam, Jo, Adam and Charlie all think of you as a brother. They don't have to be blood to be family.”

“What if I'm never ready, Dean?” Castiel asked softly.

“Then we deal with that bridge when we cross it. In the mean time, we have Thomas and Luke to spoil and love like two of the best uncles in the world. And then there's Ford who misses you like crazy.” Castiel could help the small smile at the mention of their dog.

“I miss him too.”

Dean moves his chair closer to Castiel and cups his face with his hand, using his thumb to wipe away Castiel's tears.

“I know it's gonna take time. But we can fix this, Cas. Just come home. I know Ford’s other human misses you just as much, if not more than Ford.”

“I miss you,” Castiel whispers.

Dean places his forehead against Castiel's. “Then please, please just come home. Say you'll come home.”

Castiel couldn't believe Dean was giving him another chance. That Dean would be willing to wait for him. This was not how he saw this meeting going and honestly he's glad for it now because he wanted nothing more than to go home. And no matter what, Dean would always be his home.


End file.
